I've been thinking a lot about those 2 words today,
and how many times I've said them to my kids over the years.
Man... I've made so many mistakes -
in punishments I handed down
(too strong, but mostly not enough) ,
words I chose to say ,and things I did or didn't do along the way.
Recently Brook and I had a long heart-to-heart about responsibility.
I listened with an open mind, and actually learned a great deal from what she had to say. One thing that stuck out though in my mind is... she told me that she always knew I would never "make" her do anything for very long. She knew she would only be in trouble while I was upset, and then when I was over it, I always softened up WAY too much on what-ever our issue of the moment was.
WOW... now if that doesn't hit you.
So, right in the middle of my lecture about her room, grades, and general household responsibility....I stopped and said "I'm SORRY." It hit me like a punch to the chest that I was fussing at her for something that I had taught her. Children don't come out of the womb being responsible. She was right...
When I was over what ever I was so upset about,
I always quit with the punishment.
That's what caused my words to lose all their effect.
So, I told her that both she and I were both going to change in 2009.
It is never too late to be better and learn more.
I told her I was going to be firm, and for her to remember
that she was the one who suggested that I stick to what I say.
We cleaned her room for one whole 24 hour day.
We got rid of ANY clutter that was making it messy,
and from that moment on.....I expected it to be clean
or she wouldn't be leaving this house.
I'm proud to say I've backed that one up several times so far.
I told her it wasn't really so much about her room, but about self respect.
It shows up in her grades, the way she will take care of a car, and many other places later in life.
We also had a long talk about the 140 lb. dog of hers that lives in our house. One she never walked, or cleaned up hair after.
So, from that moment to this one.. We made a deal that we each were responsible to walk him every other day. I have Mon., Wed., and Fri. And Brook has Tues., Thurs., and Sat. We both get Sunday off. Well girls... I can tell you that we haven't missed a time except for the last 2 days when it was icy. I took him in the rain, and Brook has taken him when it was 24 degrees after a ball game when she just cheered. I wanted to tell her that she didn't have to, but her words came back in my ears, and my promise to her popped back into my head.
Responsibility is learned.
Sometimes even for the parents.
